The 9 Best Things To Do On An Off Day

Well, that series against the Cleveland Baseball Club was incredibly disappointing. Any given Blue Jay fan will awake early this morning to prepare for another long week of work, awash only in the satisfaction that, as the old baseball adage goes, “there’s always tomorrow.” As said fan takes a break to grab their third cup of coffee at 10:00 this morning, they will happen to glance at the team schedule and realize, to their dismay, that today is an off day. There’s no Blue Jays baseball tonight. No Olympics, either. The Hip have performed their last concert, Summerslam happened, The Arkells aren’t currently touring in Canada, and fall TV programming hasn’t yet begun. What is a fan to do? Whatever will they do with their precious few hours of free time on this Monday night? Never fear, friend, BP Toronto is here to help. In this very special issue of “the nine” we will explore the 9 greatest off day activities any Blue Jays fan can participate in.

9. Read a Book

I know what you’re thinking here, and I understand. School outs (for the summer, or forever, depending on your age), but hear me out. There are some fantastic pieces of writing about the Blue Jays, and some won’t even take long. Read an autobiography (spoiler alert, they all contain pictures). Current Blue Jay R.A. Dickey has a great one. Past Blue Jay great Roberto Alomar does too. Every current Blue Jays beat writer has also penned a book in the last few years; check out one of those. Read a classic novel like Shoeless Joe or the Art of Fielding. Or, shameless plug here for a future article, check out Ontario-born Andrew Forbes’ ode to fandom, “The Utility of Boredom.” It’s short, and awesome. The best part of reading a book is that you can feel superior the next day. “What did you do last night?” “Oh, nothing, just read some great and classic literature. You know,the usual”

8. Write a Fan Letter

Speaking of outdated concepts involving pens and paper…don’t you think it’s about time the current crop of Toronto Blue Jays were inundated with a never ending, impossible to get through stack of handmade cards, love letters, and autograph requests? You want Marcos Estrada to teach you how to throw a change-up? You want Josh Donaldson to marry you? You would love to share a glass of Merlot with John Gibbons? What better way to ask them than by spending hours painstakingly crafting a beautiful letter on fancy parchment, stopping every five minutes to avoid writer’s cramps. Dust off your old dictionary to check your spelling, look frantically around your house for a pen that still works, and get to work.

7. Get a Blue Jays Haircut

Come on, you know it’s probably long overdue. I get it, you’ve been busy, what with it being summer, and baseball season, and all. But it’s time. And what better way to show your support to your team with a classic hairstyle emulated after your favourite player. For some of us, the “Ryan Goins” is pretty much the only option we have left, but for those of you with hair, go all in to look like Stroman, or Osuna, or Syndergaard. Scratch that, don’t get a Syndergaard haircut. Don’t do it. Scores of people would, in the past, show up to work, church, and on dates sporting the classic “Rachel” hairstyle; isn’t about time scores of people started rocking “The Donaldson”?

6. Watch a Classic Jays Game

I know, you do this all winter. You’ve seen Joe touch ‘em all thousands of times. You’ve seen the bat flip almost as much. You’ve seen Timlin flip to Carter at first. But when was the last time you saw the bloody chin game? That’s right, Jays fans, for those of you with 4 1/4 hours to spare, engross yourself in what was the offensive spectacle of the 1993 game 4 series. Great game, great players, great moments. Watch it. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but the game featured the same losing pitcher that Game 6 would feature.

5. Spend Hours Looking Up Obscure Jays Stats

Think of how impressed your friends will be that you know that the Blue Jays’ all time team leader in caught stealing is a three way tie between Tony Fernandez, Damaso Garcia and Lloyd Moseby. Or that Juan Guzman has the most wild pitches of any Blue Jay in history. An added bonus to this activity is that you can waste away so many hours that you forget to sleep and end up on browsing baseball prospectus to glean more advanced metric knowledge at 3 am. Perfect night, if you ask me.

4. Organize Your Baseball Card Collection…Again

I know you have your most prized Fred McGriff rookie card in a plastic case and displayed alongside your Marcus Stroman bobblehead and Greg Myers signed ball. But when was the last time you really took time to look through your baseball cards. You collected them, kept them in pristine shape, knowing that one day they’d be worth a fortune. Every single one of your friends did the same thing, without any understanding of supply and demand, so they’re all essentially worthless today. Still, the flood of memories you’ll be able to uncover upon discovering a 1984 Jim Acker that you forgot you had will be worth the hours spent in your garage searching for that old LA Gear shoe box full of cards you’re sure you still have.

3. Rewrite the “Ok, Blue Jays” Song

This classic song, sung at every Blue Jays, and requiring the requisite arm pumping actions and loud refrain is due for a make-over. Written in 1982, it’s possible that the lyrics to the verses no longer apply. The concern for the darkness isn’t an issue at the Roger’s Centre like it was at exhibition stadium, nor is the worry of seagull flooding the field. And it’s unlikely that Dave Steib will be throwing a fastball to finish off a complete game win anymore. So grab your guitar, or rhyming dictionary,, and hunker down to create a new classic. Or even better, just read-write the lyrics to the old one. Shouldn’t be that hard; the original writer believed that “ok” rhymed with “Blue Jays”

2. Go outside and play

Get off your couch, grab your glove, and your kid, or your friend,and go outside and play a good old fashioned game of catch. If you have no one to play with, toss a tennis ball against a wall and practice catching it on the rebound. If this sounds like far less fun than sitting and relaxing for a well earned break, just remember that you’re never too old to learn the knuckleball and keep your dream of one day being a big leaguer alive.

1. Stalk Current and Former Blue Jays on Social Media

This is number one on this list because, let’s be honest, we are already all doing this. Since there’s no game to watch, we all really want to know what Jose Bautista had for lunch, what Marcus Stroman’s exercise regime look like today, and what Jesse Barfield’s take on Yasiel Puig is. It really is fascinating, and what better thing to do when you can’t spend the evening with the Blue Jays than spend the evening with the Blue Jays, by proxy. Social media has made it so much easier to see inside the lives of all our favourite athletes, so why not take advantage of it. And who knows, maybe this is the day Tulo finally joins the social media age. A man can dream, can’t he.

There you go. Things to do tonight. You’re welcome, fellow fans. Now you don’t have to spend tonight staring at a blank screen waiting for the day to end and for tomorrow to become today and the Angels to arrive in town.

Lead Photo: Kevin Sousa-USA TODAY Sports

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