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A Hairy Situation in the Blue Jays Clubhouse

The Blue Jays currently sit 3rd in the AL East. For many, that’s simply not good enough, even with 100 games left to go. While some critics have chosen to point blame at the struggles of a high-profile lineup or an occasionally leaky bullpen, it may be something else entirely. There are few explanations that can definitively show what happened to Drew Storen’s velocity or why Toronto’s thunderous lineup hasn’t strung hits together just yet. It could be mechanical hiccups, age-induced decline, or just plain bad luck and random variance.

Maybe it could have to do with leadership or character. Modern journalism has shown that struggles can often be rooted in clubhouse conflicts that we cannot disprove. When all else fails, it’s always a problem in the locker room. It could be a fractured team, forced to pick sides between two of Toronto’s most promising young players.

Marcus Stroman is hard not to notice thanks to his abilities and perpetually sunny attitude. Declared the staff ace in spring training, he’s set to become a pillar of Blue Jays baseball for years to come. Stroman’s bold hairstyle is just one more aspect that ensures he will not go unnoticed.

Devon Travis’s return to the Blue Jays was supposed to spark a struggling offense. After an abbreviated rehab stint, fans and teammates both were eagerly anticipating the youngster’s return to the big club. Well, everyone except an anonymous teammate who we’ll call “Ryan G.” With Travis, like Stroman, comes his unique haircut. Or shall we say their unique haircut. As it turns out, the return of the sophomore second baseman has brought some trouble into the Toronto clubhouse. Tensions rose as each player subtly tried to lay claim to the look’s origins and it appears as though their differences have come to a head. According to an anonymous Blue Jay, things have reached their boiling point.

“Devon’s our second baseman, Marcus is our ace. I can’t pick; they’re both so important to us. Sometimes I’ll be standing at first base thinking ‘Gosh, this guy gets tons of grounders and that guy gets them over to you every time. They help me look good, man.’ Wait, did I call myself ‘Justin’ out loud? Don’t print that if I did.

“But it started out fine. They honestly got a kick out of it- we all did. It was ‘ha-ha’ funny to us, like these two guys wanted to stand out and got themselves the same look. They would joke around, like ‘Oh look at this guy trying to steal my style. He’s trying to be like me!’ It was fun. They were happy. We were happy.

“Then one day, Trav came back into the dugout and went to put his glove down and Stro took his seat. He offered to move but Devon said ‘Nah, why not steal one more thing.’ Everything’s changed since then.”

The pair have done well to keep up appearances, but don’t be fooled.

Travis was outspoken about their disagreement, claiming original ownership of the style.

“When I was here last year, as a rookie, I had this cut. I had it first, man. He can say all he wants, but at the end of the day I had it first. Baseball is built on respect. If he’s not gonna respect that I had it first, I don’t know what to tell you.”

The heart of the matter, at least for Travis, is that he hasn’t been credited as the one who brought the unique style to the Blue Jays.

“I don’t even care that he has it. He looks good with it- he should have it! It’s just that he walks around talkin’ about ‘oh check my cut, check my cut.’ It’s not his. Just give me the credit. Marcus has enough style that he doesn’t need to steal mine. Last year we all called it ‘The Devo.’ Now it’s supposed to be ‘The Stro?’ That’s not right.”

For his part, Stroman doesn’t seem concerned with who had it first.

“I mean, when you think of this cut, who do you think of? Exactly. It’s called ‘The Stro’ for a reason, man. When I came back from surgery last year, when I pushed through rehab and classes, I came back with this cut and people loved it. Just because I was down at Duke doesn’t mean he necessarily had it first- if he wants to play that card. Even if he did have it first, I’m the one that made it popular. I made it my own and he should respect that.”

Stroman’s skyrocketing popularity and social presence seems to have swayed fans to his side of the argument. It’s rare that he walks around Toronto without getting stopped by a fan who compliments his hair.

“People come up to me all the time, ‘Oh dude that’s sick, your hair is dope,’ and I just thank them and take the picture. It’s nice to hear, but it’s not a big deal to me. All I’m saying is that nobody compliments his hair out on the street. You ask him that same question, let me know what he says.”

“Compliments? No. Just once or twice. Some kid came running up to me and said she liked that I was copying Stroman’s ‘cool hair.’ I took a picture, but it hurt,” Travis admitted sheepishly.

Manager John Gibbons has chosen to let this play out amongst his players, believing that the team will rally around this adversity once both parties come to their senses. Other Blue Jays, like shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, have been forced to pick sides as the two began to lobby for support in hopes of settling the argument once and for all.

“I’m on Team Travis. Marcus gets all those ground balls and then I have to go run them down and dive like a madman. I’m not selfish, I’ll go out and snag them. But get a pop up every now and then. If this was about Marco [Estrada] then maybe I’d think a little harder. But totally, Devon.”

When we asked the aforementioned Ryan G., he responded with a curt “Marcus,” before leaving briskly.

Fellow starter Aaron Sanchez stands resolute with Stroman, saying “I know Devo had it first, but I’ve been with Marcus since day one. We’ve been on this journey together and I can’t leave him hanging now.”

While it doesn’t look like the two will reconcile their differences any time soon, the rest of the Jays are trying to hold everything together until this blows over. As for whether or not he’d consider getting a similarly unique haircut, slugger Jose Bautista was very clear that he’d be hard pressed to deviate from the norm.

“I know how my body feels after I eat certain foods, I know how my body feels if I don’t get good sleep, I know how my body feels if I had five beers instead of four. I know how my body feels if I get a different haircut. I know, because I pay attention.”*

For a team that hasn’t played to the standards of last autumn, this is providing an unwanted distraction. The team is looking to leave this argument, as well as the .500 mark, in the rearview mirror going forward. For the sake of all involved, Travis and Stroman will have to try to reach some sort of agreement and move on.

When each was asked whether ‘forgive and forget’ was an option, they answered the same way.

“No. Unless he wants to. If he wants to, then I will.”

All of the above quotes are completely fictional…obviously.

*This quote is only partly fictional. It is an edited version (totally different context) taken from this excellent piece by Shi Davidi of Sportsnet.

Lead Photo: Nick Turchiaro-USA TODAY Sports

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